A light bike and eternal youth

Confessions of a Weight Weenie.  Over the years I have messed with my bike weight a lot. Starting around 2002 and my 28 lb Trek sport touring steel bike.  I was about 170 lbs then.  the complete system was over 200 pounds. Fenders and racks came off. I lost a few pounds. A few years later I bought a used Schwinn Supersport for $85 and it was at 24 lbs. Also I was loosing more body weight.  In 2005 the gift of a used Specialized Allez Epic came from Oregon. A 22 lb bike. I had lost about 30 lbs too. I was much faster now.  Another bike in 2007 was about 18 lbs. A huge decrease. But still I found new parts and new ways to take off weight.  Playing with removing grams here and there. Lighter tires. No handlebar tape. So on. Obsessed.  Anyhow I took the recently new to me light wheels and put them with my light frame. Took off extra stuff and weighed parts and pieces that could be taken off. I have several weigh scales for measuring small amounts. Wrote it out on paper. Did the math. See that I could have a sub 15 lb bike (without pedals). They always seem to leave off the pedals when bikemakers state their weights. Add 1/2 pound for pedals. Then the bike would UCI legal too. Pretty light.  For an uphill time trial I could even take off the front brake, front derailluer, big chainring (maybe),  left brake lever and cables. This would take off enough to give a 14 lb bike. Zoom zoom. Crazy crazy.  I have ideas for further weight reduction that could involve homemade or specially made parts. I probably won't pursue them, but maybe. If there is a huge markdown on some light part at a bikeshop  or  eBay - I might buy. I don't think I'm that obsessed though.  Of course the most cost effective and reasonable thing to do is become a big loser. Well maybe I am already, but I mean weight loss on me. I've been almost 20 lbs lighter. Could not sustain that but 10 lbs less of me is doable. Darn Hershey's Bliss chocolates,  Kettle cooked Lays potato chips and Mountain Dew (regular).  If only I was 15 years younger, was very fit yet light, had a 14 lb bike and good legs on a good day I could "slay" Paris Mtn.  The fountain of youth is in Florida somewhere, right?